Forgiveness: A Path to Strength and Peace

Forgiveness is not for others; it is for us, for our peace of mind and soul. It is not a sign of weakness, but a path to freedom, peace, and healing. When we forgive, we release the burden of anger, resentment, and hurt that keeps us bound. Yet, despite knowing this, why is it so hard to forgive? We’ve all heard expressions like: “Ask God for forgiveness because I will not forgive you, I can forgive you, but I will never forget, he should be the one asking for forgiveness, what she did is unforgivable, among other excuses not to forgive. I know that not only have we heard these, but many of us have said them ourselves as well. Most of the time, we know what we should do when faced with a situation that requires forgiveness. So, why do we wait? Why do we delay taking responsibility? Often, it’s because we are afraid to admit our faults. We mistakenly believe that asking for forgiveness makes us weak, inferior, or vulnerable, but the truth is that delaying forgiveness complicates life, creates unnecessary burdens, and deepens pain.

We choke on our pride and say, “I didn’t do anything; he’s the one at fault. I shouldn’t have to ask for forgiveness.” But is that really true? When I analyze moments in my life where I was hurt or betrayed, I often discover they were misunderstandings or unmet expectations. Miscommunications happen, expectations aren’t always realistic, and the other person may not even realize they hurt us. And yes, you may not have started the conflict, but letting it escalate without trying to reconcile only prolongs the suffering. So why is it so hard to be the first to act, to give the first step toward reconciliation? I’m talking about every relationship: friends, family, spouses, siblings, children, co-workers, and even our faith family. Are we so perfect that we cannot humble ourselves for the sake of a relationship?

The truth is, taking the first step does not make you weaker; it makes you stronger. It makes you a conqueror: a conqueror of pride, of anger, of resentment. You may be thinking, “Sylvia, how can you ask me to forgive? He was the one who hurt me. What she (he) did is unforgivable. He (she) hurt my family.” I understand, but I can testify that every time I chose to forgive, I experienced freedom and joy. Forgiveness is powerful, especially when the other never asks for it. It’s like saying to the enemy, “You did not win. I am stronger than you thought.” Forgiveness is not only for those who deserve it, nor is it something we give only when we feel like it. Holding onto unforgiveness keeps us bound to the pain and the person who hurt us. Thank God that His mercy does not make distinctions. He forgave us even when we didn’t ask, even when we didn’t deserve it.

You might wonder, “What about situations that put my life, the life of someone I love, or my dignity and well-being at risk?” Forgiving in those situations is not easy, but carrying unforgiveness binds us to hurt forever. Forgiving does not mean giving up your rights, excusing wrongdoing, or staying in a harmful situation. It means choosing freedom, prioritizing yourself, and reclaiming peace of mind. Before anger consumes you or before you cut someone off, remember this: our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness. None of us is exempt from hurting someone, and yet God forgave us even when we didn’t deserve it. Look at Jesus on the cross. He had every right to hate, resent, or curse those who harmed Him. But instead, He chose love and forgiveness, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” His example is a call to us to rise above vengeance and embrace true forgiveness.

The rewards of forgiving are immense. Forgiveness frees your heart, lightens your spirit, and allows you to grow in compassion and understanding. It strengthens your character, heals your wounds, and opens your life to peace and joy. Forgiving first is not just an act of grace toward others; it is an act of liberation for yourself. Let us honor Christ’s sacrifice by releasing ourselves from grudges, offering mercy, and embracing forgiveness. When we take the first step, we become free, empowered, and better versions of ourselves. Forgiveness is not a weakness; it is the path to strength, healing, and lasting peace.