MORE THAN WORDS: WHY YOUR WORDS MATTER

Have you ever squeezed out an entire tube of toothpaste and tried to put it all back in? No matter how hard you try, it’s messy, frustrating, and nearly impossible. This is what our words are like; once spoken, they can’t be taken back. They spill out, and even if we apologize, the impact can linger. Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Our words carry weight. They can be life-giving, healing, and empowering, or they can be hurtful, divisive, and deeply wounding. Many underestimate this truth, yet time and time again, a single word has left more lasting pain than a physical wound. 

Sadly, in today’s culture, we’ve become quick to criticize and slow to uplift. We scroll through social media and think it’s normal to comment on appearances, clothing, parenting, or decisions of strangers and friends alike: "She looks terrible." "That was dumb." "What a mess." Sound familiar? We tend to highlight flaws instead of speaking graciously. But why? Often, it’s easier to focus on others’ shortcomings than to confront our own. Sometimes, it’s rooted in jealousy, an unhealthy way to cope with our insecurities.

Criticism in itself isn’t wrong. Constructive criticism can be helpful and growth-producing. The problem is how we criticize. Constructive criticism proposes solutions, speaks with love, and aims to build. Destructive criticism tears down, shames, and divides. God has given us the gift of speech, not to tear others down but to build them up (Ephesians 4:29). Yet often, we use the same mouth to praise God in one breath and hurt others in the next. Even more damaging than criticism is gossip. It quietly spreads like wildfire, creating division, pain, and lasting harm. Many of us have been victims of gossip and know firsthand how it feels. But here’s the truth: if we entertain gossip, stay silent, or allow it to continue, we’re participating in the damage. We become agents of harm rather than agents of healing. What Can We Do Instead? The next time you're tempted to criticize, pause. Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say helpful? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

What if, instead of pointing out flaws, we looked for something good to say? What if we were the ones to stop gossip before it spreads? What if our words became tools of grace? Be someone who leads by example, not by condemnation. Want a change in your environment, your home, school, workplace, or church? Let the change start with you. Be the flame that lights another. Be a Warrior who speaks life. Remember, you can’t demand what you don’t reflect. Don’t expect light if you’re spreading darkness with your words. It’s not a time to blend in; it’s a time to rise. If you’re a believer in Christ, let it show in your speech. Distinguish yourself. Speak with love, truth, and grace. I’ve accepted the challenge of being an Agent of Change, and I invite you to do the same. It begins at home. Our children are listening, learning, and repeating what they hear. Let’s teach them:

• To say kind words that encourage others

• To speak the truth in love

• To use their words to bring peace, not drama

• To pray before they speak

Try these simple steps:

1.   Model it: Speak gently—even in frustration.

2.   Use the THINK filter: Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?

3.   Correct with love: When they speak unkindly, pause and ask how they could rephrase it.

4.   Celebrate good speech: Praise their effort to use kind, respectful words.

5.   Pray together: “Lord, help us use our words to show Your light.”

Words matter. They shape hearts, environments, and futures. So, let’s choose to speak life, starting with our hearts and homes. If you claim to be a Christian, let it be noticed! Distinguish yourself, be different, and don't get carried away by the current. The change begins with you!